Where is my sun?

I know that this is sounding a bit much at this time of year, seeing as it's October and all, but I really feel like we are owed some sun due to the lack of it over the summer. Yes, I know we did get that week (was it really a week? Felt like a lot less to me) of absolutely beautiful weather and glorious temperatures up in the top 20's towards the end of September, but that was really not enough. All these gales and rain are shocking my poor little system into submission!

I really dread to think of what the weather will be like next year.... This is basically nature telling the seasons to go fuck themselves, am I right? Like this year...


Nature's Diary: 
January and February: Effectively a massive battery of cold and snow and more cold and ice and generally unpleasant conditions that made us put the heating on too high and waste lots of money. If not, you would lose at least a digit by frostbite to the perilous conditions, IN YOUR OWN HOME. Everyone looked like the Michelin man whilst traversing the streets.

March and April: You know what would really catch everyone off guard? Blazing sun and beer garden conditions! Yes, you can have this for the next two to three months and get a nice tan and forget all about that horrible winter that you'd just suffered...

May, June, July: A bit shit, just a general wash-out really. Overcast during the days, not even that warm, so you've gone from walking around in shorts and a strappy top to donning the three jumpers again.

August and September (up until the last week): BATTER YOU WITH HURRICANE. WINDS BLOWING IN YOUR FACE FROM ACROSS THE SEAS. ARGHHHH FEEEL MY WRATH. Get blown off your bicycle.

Last week of September: I've put you through too much. here. Have a week of unexpected sunshine, catch up on your vitamin D for the winter. It's too hot? What? You were complaining that it was too cold. There is no happy medium with you lot.

October: Gale force winds and frost and snow in certain parts, whilst throwing as many elements as possible in a ridiculously short space of time to whoever happens to be caught out in the open. Is that cold enough for you now?!


I dread to think of what's yet to come. All I know is that my coat's just about ready to come out of the wardrobe from winter storage, and the flip-flops are also in the vicinity.

At least someone's happy.