There are too many fussy eaters out there these days.

One of the "not-so fussy"

I mean, I should know, seeing as I'm one of the many of them. However, I'm not fussy to the extent where I will only eat food that is white, or solely potato wedges and spaghetti hoops, nor do I have to ensure that everything is cut to an equal side and must be ate in a certain order (however, if it's all set out nicely on a plate, broccoli should be eaten last). Well, I guess that's basically bordering on obsessive compulsive behaviour. However, too many people have some really crap food habits, like not liking vegetables. Agreed, mushrooms, sprouts and aubergine are vile, but all the rest are just lovely. You feel positively radiant eating them, so I don't understand why some people have to stick to pizza and chips.

It is moving. Ergo, meat.

However, the people that really get to me are these so-called "vegetarians". I don't mean the real type of vegetarian who completely eliminates all meat and meat by-products from their diet. I mean the type who come out for a meal and say: "I'm a vegetarian, but I eat chicken."
IS A CHICKEN NOT AN ANIMAL OR SOMETHING? HAVE I MISSED SOMETHING? LOST THE PLOT PERHAPS? Because to no extent of my imagination does eating poultry fall into the not eating meat category. I guess that fish is a moot point (the Bible was a bit blurry with the classification), but we have pescetarianism for that. And besides, fish is much better for you than chicken anyway. However, the person must be deluded, absurd to even think that a chicken could pass as a vegetable. That person is clearly not in it for any sort of ethical reason whatsoever.

I used to be a vegetarian. It wasn't down to beliefs or anything ethical, I just didn't like it. Still don't really. One day I just thought to myself: "Well, I don't eat beef, lamb, duck, pork or game, so it would make sense to stop eating chicken and call myself a vegetarian to save the confusion amongst everyone." And that was it. Didn't eat chicken for two more years because of that, and then started again because I felt like I was being a massive inconvenience to anyone who tried to cook for me. I guess that having consumed fairly hot chilli sauce on practically a daily basis for nearly a year now, and smoking like a chimney have washed my tastebuds up into oblivion, as I work by the mantra now: "If it's cooked for me, I'll give it a go (especially if it's free)."

Never looks that great raw,
does it?

However, I would prefer it if it weren't bought from the supermarket, as you know those cows/chickens/pigs have gone through hell to get squeezed into those sad little packets and pumped full of water. Half of the stuff that those animals were fed throughout their life was cheap crap as well, combined with the confinement of small space and unhappy animals, it doesn't make great meat. Butcher's meat is always better, as you know that the butcher is friendly and certainly knows who he's getting his meat from, what it is and how it was fed etc etc. And it always, without a shadow of a doubt, tastes nicer. I mean, I appreciate that, even though I don't really like the taste of it. But say that I were to have a dinner party, it would be the butchers I'd visit.

Om nom nom 

I did try and be vegetarian again after watching River Cottage a couple of weeks back. I haven't bought any meat or fish myself, which is a start (well, it's not really a difference to the norm), but I have had a couple of pre-packed chicken sandwiches from Boots, and some King Prawn Noodle salad. The chicken was vile, never having one of those chicken sandwiches again, but I think I've found my Achille's heel with those prawns... And I did have a chicken dinner with my family. Had to eat it to be polite, of course.

So it turns out that I'm not a vegetarian after all, nor will I call myself a vegetarian in spite of me eschewing meat 75% of the time. That's because vegetarians don't eat meat at all. Ever. Not even haribo or jelly. And vegans? Gosh, my will-power is not strong enough to substitute strong cheddar and camembert for soy milk and tofu. Just sayin'.

Vom.

PS. Quorn is AWFUL. How anyone can stand those plastic lumpy imitation-sausage.... things is beyond me.