The Olympics. Football. Sport in General what gets shown on TV. I don't care.

It feels like I can finally now relax after I've got these bloody exams out of the way and done now. No more worrying that I'm procrastinating too much and not revising enough, or the converse - revising too much and not procrastinating enough. Well that's it. They're bloody over now, and it's really weird how I still somehow like the whole sports hall experience. Don't get me wrong, the fifteen minutes that you're stood outside of the damn place, waiting to be ushered in, feels like purgatory. Those fifteen minutes just can't go fast enough whilst you're stood there with a sick feeling in your stomach and the horrible realisation that you've forgotten everything whilst your classmates know the insides and out of each topic. However, once you're in there and you "may begin", I always find a calm come over myself (despite the previous unnecessary panic) after scanning through the questions, and realise that I actually haven't forgotten everything that I know about anything. And, if it's a nice paper, it's actually fun answering questions and showing off a little bit. Those two factors make 2 and a half hours sat in a freezing cold gymnasium not seem too bad after all. However, it is nice to know that I won't have to be experiencing that again in a little while.

finished an hour early?
EXCELLENT USE OF TIME

However, converse to my academic achievements/prowess/ progress, the government is set to launch a summer of sport, streamed right to your television screens. Do you know how I am aware of this? I was only aware of Euro 2012 (the football championship thingy where all of Europe participate - kind of like eurovision except they only sing at the start of each match and then run around for 90 minutes, but it's all just as politically involved) when my Facebook newsfeed filled up with news of an England match taking place, and every shot, dribble, pass and goal being meticulously analysed. When this happened for a Ukraine match 2 hours later, I knew something must have been up. Football was on terrestial TV.

I would not want this man in charge
of ANYTHING

I had not heeded the warnings from the Morrissons TV adverts, encouraging viewers to stock up on their slashed price crates of beer for the coming weeks and football games ahead. Oh no, I was very unprepared. Thank goodness I haven't switched the tv on yet... better yet, I've turned it on and not ventured from cooking programmes on More 4. To be honest, I don't understand what the fuss is all about. Not unless you have money riding on it, then it's completely understandable. Do all these people who kick up such a fuss have money riding on these things? Is that why people get so passionate about 20 odd men - who are all paid far too much, ridiculous money - kick a ball around a field? Not to mention, half of these men coming from Belarus.

What a shit logo

However, isn't that all they can do?! Kick a ball around a field, shout, and be aggressive (not to mention use the power obtained on field to pick up girls in night clubs and get uber drunk without much consequence)? it's a shame that someone whose traditional IQ is so limited is awarded with so much money for something so banal. And in this society, power = money (or the converse) so why are we letting these thick idiots accrue so much power? We all know they wouldn't know what to do with it... or maybe that's the point? However, that 90 minute slot they're taking up on the TV there could be used for better things.

And then there's the Olympics. Yay. The Olympics. They're great and traditional and from Greece, but is it really the year for us to host it? We're a nation run by buffoons! Prince Philip is bound to upset everyone if someone accidentally switches on his microphone or lets him near any of the foreign spectators. Actually, it would be rather amusing, but think of the Queen's embarrassment. To be fair, Prince Philip is the least of our worries. A main one actually, should be the opening ceremony. Undoubtedly Gary Barlow from Take That will contribute, and it's such a shame that the rest of the world aren't into him (or know about him) as well as the British media does. So there's the embarrassment of him turning up and no one knowing who he is....

Then the annoying fact that the Olympics are driving the price up of ANYTHING that is within a 100 mile radius of London, and causing great traffic congestion. What an arse for anyone trying to get to work through the games, especially if they wouldn't normally give two shits about the thing. We will also have no excuse to stay up until silly o'clock in the morning to watch the sailing because everything's going to be run on GMT. What am I going to do if I wake up at 3 am and fancy watching Japan and Moldova's women's netball teams battle it out? No can do now, it went on at 2pm yesterday afternoon. Bugger.

To be honest, all this sport is over hyped. I'm going back to thinking, it doesn't cause as much traffic.

Rush hour reaching new all time lows.

Ancient Aliens? No. You're just wrong.

Alien life forms are a mathematical probability. Actually, probably more of a certainty, due to the great property this universe has, which is called being infinite. However, I have some beef with this guy. Giorgio A. Tsoukalos (the A is for Aliens). I could not have not watched a programme on tv where one of the guest speakers is consistently terribly wrong.

The programme in question is Ancient Aliens, the ridiculous History channel phenomenon which is available to watch in its full glory on the wonder of youtube. Not that you'd want to watch it... I swear that that show takes up an hour of your life that you won't be able to get back, so I advice that you find something productive to do alongside watching it. 

This show is all about proving how aliens played an influential role in advising and educating ancient civilisations, giving them the knowledge of how to do crazy shit like move stone blocks, just to confuse future civilisations. Of course this show takes into no account any sort of logical explanation for these things. Science? Physics? Pah, who needs to listen to them when aliens did it?

Besides, aliens sound cooler. 

Giorgio is these alien's advocate. He is their voice in this day and age, they need to be heard. He has a degree in sports journalism or something, so of course this means that he is adequately qualified to give a balanced assessment on archaelogical sites aned evidence, and extrapolate from them. Do they do much extrapolation in sports degrees? Because he sure is good at it. Whereas normally a simple pulley system would mean that these ancient people were able to lift large slabs of stone, in this case you're mistaken. Aliens made these large stones overcome forces of gravity, levitate and be placed into some significant positions in accordance with the earth's gravitational field/synergy with nature, blah blah blah. 

Doesn't it strike this man that ancient people may have been more in tune with nature than we are today because, well, we hadn't destroyed or disfigured it at that point? Also, we were finding things out for ourselves, I don't think some alien came down and planted these ideas into our ancestor's heads by thought conditioning. Jeez.

When it smells like mould, there is mould.

One of those very sad facts of life.


I smelled the smell of mould in my room the other day, yet I didn't see it. I thought that it was that cup that I'd left in my room for a little too long. Turned out that it wasn't... Oops. I moved some things this evening, et voilà, there was a mould patch. From when i spilled some hot chocolate a couple of weeks ago and forgot to mop it up. Bugger. Why do these things always come around and bite you in the ass? I'd practically forgotten about it until I smelled the smell this morning. I would rather not have a patch of mould on the carpet than have one, seeing as it doesn't have that many benefits. Disadvantages clearly outweigh it.

Needless to say, I have dealt with it.
I haven't left a patch of mould on my carpet, that would be just gross.

I am going to disinfect the shit out of any survivors. I'm prepped with my mould zapping gun.
It'd better not come back.

It did not look as pretty, nor was as severe as that.

D:

I really can't think of what to talk about

It's somewhat vexing me. I swear I've been meaning to make a move on somehow tainting this blank text box for the best part of a day now, and I've still not gotten round to doing it. Well, now I have. But I hadn't before. Obviously. Anyway, I don't know whether this counts because it's all padding isn't it?

I don't know what should be my topic of discussion today. The upcoming Olympic Games? TV shows? That woman who doesn't seem to keep on top of her diary in regards to kicking Al Qatar out of the country? Or then again, we have psycho norweigian cold blooded killer who would quite easily "do it again" ["it" referring to massacring lots and lots of people for no good reason besides the fact that he is actually Hitler incarnate.] I'm most certainly not talking about the weather. What about feelings?

God no. We spend too much time fussing over ourselves that I don't need to write about it in here. I know I don't do that, but I'm sure there are 4 or 5 people to every me on these internet blog things, whingeing about first relationships, girlfriends, boyfriends, friends etc. Obviously these are those who still haven't learnt that a blog is something completely different from a diary. It's one thing if your guardian happens to catch a glance at an open page of your diary one day and it's you bad mouthing off someone else. I'd say bitching, but it's to yourself really, isn't it? However, in a diary format, if I were a parent, I wouldn't be surprised if they put down that they hated me and I wouldn't be too upset because it's private. The fact that I'd sneaked a peek was a betrayl of trust already!

However, blogs don't quite work like that. They are available for the whole online community to view (unless you've put up some special details or something) including Mum and Dad. They brought you into this world, and they'll be pulling the plug on your laptop pretty soon if you're slagging them off for the world to see. Of course, it would be in a post that would be no interest to anybody (apart from possibly your amigos from school?)because there are so many posts effectively saying exactly the same thing.

I am also proud to admit "pots and kettles" here as well.

I'm singing in the rain...

... whilst I thought we were meant to be suffering from droughts?

Who knows what is up with the weather these days.

Two weeks ago, my newspaper informed me that we were suffering from the driest and warmest April in 20 years! There was a lot of talk about hose pipe bans (in fact, some were enforced already. In April? Yes, ridiculous) and worry that the south of the nation would be suffering from droughts if this sunny weather keeps up. There was talk of even closing a couple of main canal waterways to ensure that nothing was being wasted, as who knew when the next cloud would give us some respite from the barren ... Southern England.


Two weeks on, and now look. Torrential rain and what reporters are calling the "wettest April in 20 years". Make your minds up, mate. Actually, you shouldn't have come to such great conclusions that the start of this month, should you? And I wouldn't think that this month receiving slightly higher levels of precipitation than other months was to be expected due to the phrase "April showers". Obviously this is just reinforcing that this is not the time to call a plumber, so Ishouldn't be too surprised that April is a bit wetter, windier and groggier than the other months. Of course I shall complain about it, just like everyone else. However, we all know that our comments will only fall on deaf ears, as we have no control of the weather...but there are some who are able to decide upon weather. Of the past, of course. And it's generally through the extrapolation and misinterpretation of data. I call these guys sensationalists. I call these guys journalists.


The way that they report any sort of scientificly orientated article infuriates me, seeing as they have deformed the research paper they came across, which was most likely to be a thoroughly documented and well thought-out piece of research. Instead of reporting what the research project is actually about and what actually happened (yes, I know it may be a little long-winded, but that's all the fun!), results are misinterpreted, the conclusion becomes oversimplified, thus losing some of the credibility of the research paper as it is crudely reported in some tabloid.  The broadsheets are just as bad.

It;s one thing with it being a badly reported article. It's another thing if it tells the complete opposite from what the report states altogether. I guess it's the whole "dumbing down" and sensationalising that's employed to get the papers sold. No one wants to read something about some long word that no one can quite pronounce, let alone spell, that is capable of reversing certain strains of cancer in a couple of people out of the sample size. No. That would be boring. Why put that when you could put this?

NEW CANCER DRUG WORKS MIRACLES IN FIRST TRIAL - SUCCESS SPARKS TALKS WITH HOSPITALS TO MAKE CURE AVAILABLE TO ALL

WINGS SURGICALLY ATTACHED TO BABY - NOW HE CAN FLY

It is statistically proven that people will believe whatever the hell you put in the papers these days, and hold it to the gospel truth.