I. DON'T. LIKE. SWIMMING.

What a nob.

Swimming is not natural. If we were born to swim, we would have webbed feet like otters, or gills or fins or something that makes us more adapted for water locomotion. However, I have two feet that work perfectly well on the ground thank you very much, and I have no need nor desire to go and travel distances across vast expanses of water. I much prefer to walk around the outside anyway, seeing as that is what I am good at.

Swimming should only be used in times of great necessity or peril. Peril is not watching your neighbour's zgerbil drown in the pond and not doing anything about it, nor is it fretting. gerbils don't swim so they die out by natural selection when this part of the world floods. I will only swim when forced into a large body of water outside of my own control. Forced. By another body or some natural disaster. I will only swim unless I have to, and I geuss that that would be a time that I had to. However, seeing as the human body is less dense than water due to its fat  content, I should stand a slight chance of floating and keeping my head above the water until some deranged individual takes pity on me.

I really don't like swimming because I'm really bad at swimming. But that's because I don't like the actual motions you go through with swimming. For me, swimming is "Staying Alive". However, other people are mad enough to make it into a sport. A sport with the risk of drowning? It's setting my heart on edge already. Whereas it would literally be described as "splashing like a deranged loon".

I don't want to encunter this guy past the 1.5m line

i ALSO don't like the chances of encountering a shark whilst swimming. Humans aren't adequately equipped fotr dealing with such creatures, so I think that it is best to stay out of the water to eliminate any chance of contact whatsoever. I don't want to meet a shark, not even a baby one that's come up through my plug hole. And lets face it, sharks will always swim faster than humans so there's no point in swimming lots to go faster. I heard they nip.

Swimming too soon after a meal is generally associated with indigestion and terrible cramps which are most unpleasant. I don't want to risk it, because if i have cramps in the water it may affect my technique and buoyancy and I could drown or a shark could take its opportunity on me. Cramps in my feet are bad enough, so one in my stomach would make me drown for sure.

NATURE IS AGASINT US GUYS. We are not meant to swim. Apart from people with webbed feet like that Olympic swimmer. Let's stay on land far away from dangerous bodies of water.

Also goggles are very ugly and I don't agree with the attire they force you to wear.

me